Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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