his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
