Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
