so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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