Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
