every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize