I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No subtext here. People are naked.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
