Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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