I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
