Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
