I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
