i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
