Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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