I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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