is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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