I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
