I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When are your genitals available?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
