That's intense
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
