i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
