I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
