I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
