in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im holly from the hills drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize