Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
tell your sister to shave her snatch
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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