he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
