That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
