what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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