Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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