On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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