Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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