Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
