I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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