Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
