If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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