the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
