Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
