i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize