Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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