I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
