so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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