She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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