Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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