false alarm. still invincible.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
