i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
