I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
