new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have aggressive nipples.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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