I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
