Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
