Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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