Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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