I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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