he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
