elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
