that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
