so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
