Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
