he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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