Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
