Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize