I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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