great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
