so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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