I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Four minutes until I can fart!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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