sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
