Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
