The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
